The Magners Bottle

I suppose this story starts with the discussion me and Rosie had prior to the incident. The subject being my lack of consideration when under the influence of one of my pleasurable but naughty habits. The next night the subject of this habit was involved. Everyone who reads this knows how much of a dozy mug I am, so as you can all presume I was, I would say 'slightly' inconsiderate. Although my better half would never see it that way. Rosie was having a gathering, her flat transformed into a watering hole for ten. The night was in high spirits, anthems blared through the speakers, the bed was lept on on, the cans were spilt and ash was not going in the tray. When it reached midnight, Joel sent his cheeky smile my way. The smile we all know and love; head tilted down, eyes looking up at you with eyebrows level and a smile that doesn't show much teeth, but just a little. It was time.

Now, next door was an abandoned flat, perfect. Nothing like squatting for a few minutes, running around in the dark and having Tom piss all over the floor in rebellion. Then, as if I had found a pot of gold, I found Sellotape. The possibilities. Me and Joel walked out of the flat looking for mischief, that's when saw the golden doors of Heaven glowing bright in the silver clouds of a pale blue sky. In reality this was the elevator. We went in, like little school children giggling at the thought of the next victim that skips into the elevator only to be confronted by a wall of sticky tape! genius. And no one takes the stairs at night because none of the lights work in the hallway, you can't walk up and down stairs in the pitch black dark now can you? To us, this was genius.

Once the deed was done, we confidently walked back into Rosie's flat on a hype. This hype was soon destroyed when I saw the look of doom on Rosie's face. I was in the doghouse. I failed in being considerate on a matter that I cannot discuss. I've seen this look before, there's only two ways of getting rid of it, one is easy and one is not. I took the hard route. No party would be the same without a good 'ol domestic eh? So after going around in circles I gave up, she was no longer talking to me. I asked Joel for advice, I asked Kirsten for advice, but neither of them could break the wall of Rosie either. Me and Joel were stunted. We had tried every method, every line, nothing was going to make her come round tonight. So let's just enjoy ourselves.

Two more guests joined the gathering, Sam and his brother baring Pringles, I was most grateful. Charlie had passed out, she had been for a good hour or so, standard. Jon then woke up, after the 2 bottles of wine he downed earlier had worn off slightly, and now half the party was in his room. Tom sat on the bed singing songs in the lyrical style of Randy Newman, Lee Cloke sprawled next to him smiling continuously and Callum trying to gain control of his mind after the 5 beers he had.

At the bottom of Jons bed is a sofa. Not a big sofa; a light, wire framed sofa with the cushions attached. The sofa had been moved over the course of the night and the seats faced away from the party. So I sit on the top of the backrest, my feet tapping the laminated floor. Now, this all happened so fast that I cannot really remember in detail the course of action. I believe I raised my feet like a child on a swing and the legs of the chair slipped under itself so the back hit the floor. As a result, I fell directly down, only to hit something along the way, something painful. My aim was impeccable, not only did I land on the only thing glass that was placed round the back of Jon's sofa, but it also managed to avoid both my cheeks and target straight to my rectum. Once I felt the pain, lept to the side and gazed at the object in question, I saw it was a Magners bottle that still remained upright. I clambered to my feet, choking the words 'it went up my fucking arse' and waddled to the toilet as fast as I could.

I sat there gasping for breath and trying to regain any sense of self. I had never felt anything like this before in my life. I squirmed, I whimpered, I groaned, I left teeth marks in my arm from when I screamed into it. Then I tried calling out to Rose, even if there wasn't any music playing she would not have heard my pathetic cries. I felt a drip. I rolled out a pad of toilet paper and slowly tested the water, resting it against my rectum. I could hear people asking for me. 'Where's Lee?' and 'Leee?' I answered, not even close to loud enough. Just a murmur, it would have been easier for them to hear a pin drop. I phoned Joel. 'I'm in the toilet, come here.' I had to say it twice. He came to the door and I told him it was bad and not to laugh. I let him in. After telling him the story his face was sheer 'shock surprised'. Then he started laughing, I was trying to hold back the tears as laughter made the pain even worse, but what else can you do? I looked at my trousers, a huge hole at the back, looked at my boxers, a hole through them as well, great.

It was time to pull away the tissue, what damage are we dealing with here? What's it going to be. blood or bruise?
Blood. A lot. The tissue was soaked like the first tissue you soak when you have a nose bleed. I was rather concerned now. Joel fetched Rosie, I could hear them outside bickering. 'let me explain' 'I don't want to talk to him' 'no, this is serious, just go in there' 'I don't want to see him, Joel'. Finally he just opened the door, shoved her in, and I showed her the tissue. Her face soon changed.
'I need to see it, there might be some glass'. Fuck. Are you having me on? I bent over, and she pulled out a large piece of glass, that was it. 'We're calling an ambulance.' 'No no'. I said, but she wasn't having any of it, there could be more glass up there. I can barely walk how am I going to get downstairs to ambulance, especially in the dark. 'We'll go in the lift she said'.
Joel gave me that cheeky smile again. I was beaten at my own game.

But hey, at least I got her to talk to me again.

3 hours wait in A&E, surrounded by drunks, a guy with a slight cut on his head wasting everyones time, and I'm squirming on the cold metal chairs bleeding through my joggers and onto the chair. After being seen, having an x-ray and a drip tube plugged into my arm I was sent to the ward, I needed surgery. Rosie was by my side the whole time and she was getting tired and drowsy, after she had laughed her head off every time we spoke to a doctor or a nurse.
I can't believe she spent her night like this, how inconsiderate of me.

Sunday and Monday passed, no surgery, just a new friend in the bed to the left of me. I went for another x-ray then Tuesday morning came. I was free to go. After being on the drip, no food, and pretty much bed ridden for three days, the foreign body that was found in the first set of x-rays had dislodged itself. I wonder when? I waited 4 hours for the discharge papers, then another 4 hours in the departure lounge for my prescription. I had to wait an extra hour because my doctor missed mine in the pile of papers she was given and had to come back to sign it, typical.

At long last I walked out of the hospital, three days I spent in there whilst the sun shone outside. Today's weather; overcast.

Operation Cobra

A montage of footage taken by Kirsten Howe and photography from Charlie Bevan to create a 'promo video' for the new upcoming band 'Operation Cobra'.  The band is not real for the project is in aid of my module for university.  The shoot took place in Fort Amherst and the band members consist of Rosie Ritchie, Tom Howe and Joel Neale.  

Many thanks to these guys and the people at Fort Amherst.

my luck

As I write this blog, the thought in the back of my mind is; 'my blogs are floating in limbo at the moment'.  Basically, that means I'm a clumsy idiot.  To all of you who didn't see my rant on facebook, I lost my phone a few weeks back, which happened to have pages upon page of blogs written every other day about my time working at Continental Drifts.  Thus it has taken me this long to accept it, and I have to fulfil my duty and let the world know about my thought processes, if I can remember them.  Luckily my very clever 'supervisor', if that be the correct word, had me write up everything I had enjoyed, disliked, learnt and wanted to learn at the end of each week.  Therefore, I am saved, slightly.

Previous work experience blogs and a few following this one will most likely be highly tedious for those who aren't my university tutors.  If you like to read unstructured, sarcastic, tangent filled pieces of reflective writing, then these blogs will be right up your street.

I'll set you up with a fun fact: Continental Drifts are a great company, read upcoming blogs to find out more.

Work Experience at Maverick Television

After receiving an email from Maverick Television informing me that I can join their team for a two week placement, I was very excited. I was informed that I was working on MTV's My Super Sweet, a new series derived from the previous My Super Sweet 16, a reality television show where rich teens (their dads) allow MTV to film their extravagant 16th birthday parties, and the weeks leading up to it. After watching the show, and knowing what it was about, I was eager to work. But after my experience in that line of production, I know that this may not be the direction I wish to go down when finding the perfect career.
Actually, on reflection, I don't know what to make of my time at Maverick TV, it definitely opened my eyes to the soul destroying, office bound reality that is production. Perhaps it was because I was completely naive to what I believed was production.  I thought I was going to be walking around a set and work behind the scenes of television shows they produce.  Not at all.

The first day consisted of a tour around the office, meeting people and learning their names, only to forget them once I shook another hand or wave with a quirky smile on my face. I got sat at my desk, with no neighbours left, right or ahead. Therefore, I felt alone.  If I was lucky enough to fulfil a 'running' job I was ecstatic, otherwise I was glued to my desk, cold calling, which I learnt was just part of the process of production.  

I was, more often than not, cold emailing, but once three days of this had gone by I was near to the brink of suicide. I soon moved onto 'logging' some of the footage pre-recorded for the show which I was happy to do all day long.  Logging information of the footage was the kind of thing I was expecting when I applied for the placement.

As I went into the second week I decided to have a brighter outlook on the job.  I knew it would be weak to quit and in the long run, worth it.  By carrying it through I managed to befriend colleagues and broaden my networks.  Everyone that I had spoken to were freelancers, which seems to be the common field in the production industry, a thought that worries me.

By having such a short placement of two weeks I'm sure I didn't the best out of the job, but I do have an insight.  worth it.

We decorated the trucks

Well, last we week we finally thought we knew where we were going for our piece in the FUSE festival, working with Periplum in the 1000 revolutions a minute project. We knew we had to decorate the trucks in any way we wanted as long as it had the theme of 'Top Secret'. This could include anything we wanted; Mafia basement, warehouse, columbian drug den ect ect what was also said was a '12 Monkeys' kind of scene. We believed this would be best seen as my dad could print us alot of plans and drawings ect to represent that. So I asked father dearest and he infact obliged delivering £230 worth of prints. We were very pleased. Now all we needed was some newspaper cut outs and scribble red pen all over pictures of mugshots, arial views, maps, cctv footage and other such pictures to create a wall full of links and traces for some kind of top secret plan.

We stuck up the the prints of buildings with blutac. Very difficult because the air inside blows it out, makes it very messy and corners keep peeling off. Annoying! We went ahead and made it look rather MI5 ish and it looked pretty good. But earlier in the day they showed us the act that would be going in there instead of, what should have been, the band and it did not fit at all with what we had planned.

The back of the van has like a shelf area, which is the DJ booth, which we have to decorate by tomorrow evening with what? A disco ball? Lights? Maybe use a car battery?

Disco ball and lights lit by AA's it is.

New Blog

I have possessed this blog for two years now, and I have done nothing but neglected it.  My past posts are terrible and ramble on about immature nonsense, and don't get me started on my grammar.  From now on this blog shall be used properly.  Please do not read any previous posts, although, by me saying this, I'm sure you'll have a sneak peak anyway.

My website is coming soon...keep an eye out.  If you cannot wait for my next post or my website, then indulge in my twitter.

@leeglasscock

Periplum research

Well, I've been asked to find out the 'heart' of Gillingham. I don't think Gillingham has a brain let alone a heart. A group called Periplum wish to find this 'heart' and use it to create a piece for the FUSE arts festival in Medway. In just a few weeks the FUSE festival will be kicking off, and I don't think they have a clear idea of what their piece will be.

Its based around music, so who are the local artists? Where are the local venues? What do they sing about? Who do they attract? What is the soul of Gillingham? Or what the people of Gillingham wish it to be.

So I went away, my area was music, so I asked a friend from the area to tell me who the names are, he gave me one artist who was at uni at the time, and another group whose Myspace I managed to grab, but, I did not get in contact with them. I still need to find out if they are willing to play at the festival, or just give a few moments to tell us where the band come from, roots wise, where they are heading and what makes them individual, is it Gillingham?

I also found a pub on Twitter called 'The Barge Pub' which has local artists perform, I found out that they are a bit out of the way from where Periplum wish to host their attractions, but I could still find out information about other local artists who perform there.

Lately I've been asked to look into a derelict that is actually just over the road from me. There's a painted board outside sporting the logo 'Spiral Arts' . Half of it is brunt down boarded up and smashed to pieces, but it looks like it used to be an old nursery like a toddler/infant group, the stage before school where mums would drop off their kids for a couple of hours, it looks like that. Very dangerous in there. I don't know what Periplum are after, because they like abandoned buildings to be used for on sight attractions and installations and just plain old areas to use for performance, but this place looked a bit to run down.

I have a few pictures that I'll upload soon enough.